Parodies Gone Whack
by Absolut Asian
Summary: What! The HP characters singing parodies? What the hell's happening! Actually nothing but an authoress asking for reviews. Chapter 14 UP!
1. The Anthem

Disclaimer: MUHA! I stole everything! EVERYTHING-wait, J.K. Rowling owns  
these characters and Good Charlotte owns the song.  
  
A/N: I just want reviews and requests! I listen to almost everything except  
classical! And you can criticize, but don't flame!  
  
The Anthem-Good Charlotte  
The Anthem-Harry Potter and Ron Weasley  
  
It's a new spell  
But it all feels old  
It's a good life,  
That's what Snape's told  
But every spell, it all just feels the same  
  
At old Hogwarts  
It feels more to me  
Like Azkaban, or penitentiary  
Black's time spent there, it only made me see  
  
That we don't ever wanna be like you  
We don't wanna take the class you do  
We're never gonna hear the spells you say  
And we don't ever wanna,  
We don't ever wanna be  
  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What we're saying is  
This is our anthem  
Throw all your wands up  
You  
Don't wanna be you  
  
"Go to Hogwarts,  
Or university,  
Get a REAL job."  
That's what Hermy said to me  
But we could never live the she wants  
We're gonna get by  
And just do our time  
Missing spells while  
You just do them fine  
Voldie's no minor threat you better mind  
  
Do you really wanna be like Snape?  
Do you really wanna watch old porno tapes?  
Do you really wanna be part of their crowd?  
Cause we don't ever wanna  
We don't ever wanna be  
  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What we're saying is  
This is our anthem  
Throw all your wands up  
You  
Don't wanna be you  
  
Cast it once, that's fine  
Cast it twice, that's ok  
Cast it three times, you're just being really cheap  
  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What we're saying is  
This is our anthem  
Throw all your wands up  
Y'all gotta feel me, curse if you're with me  
You  
Don't wanna be just like you (Just like you)  
This is our anthem  
Throw all your wands up  
Y'all gotta feel me, curse if you're with me  
Another wizard anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another wizard anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another wizard anthem (Whoa-oh)  
Another wizard anthem 


	2. Hey Sevvie

Disclaimer: J.K. owns the book, and No Doubt owns the song Hey Baby. This  
of course really sucks for me. Sammi Dre is my character though. She stars  
in one of my other ficlets.  
  
A/N: Am I updating too fast? I hope not, but I probably won't have a lot of  
time since school starts next Tuesday. T__T Oh well! Read and rate,  
remember!  
  
Hey Baby-No Doubt  
Hey Sevvie-Hermione Granger and Sammi Dre  
  
(Hermione)  
Hey Sevvie  
Hey Sevvie  
Hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, Sevvie  
  
We're the kinda girls  
Hang with the guys  
Like a curse on your back  
With the secret spell  
Takin' it on  
Ron tries to be feminine  
With my makeup bag  
Watchin' Voldie's sin  
Misfit, we sit  
Lumos, wicked  
Everybody else  
Surrounded by girls  
With the cute wands  
And their flirty ways  
  
We're just sipping on Butterbeer  
Watching boys and girls  
And their sex appeal  
With a Eater in my face  
Who says he knows our moms  
And went to old Hogwarts  
  
All the fans say,  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Hey Sevvie, Sevvie  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
All the witches get  
Your wands in the back  
  
I'm the one they copy upon  
Give some Murtlap a star is born  
And if you hide enough  
You'll get the pass  
And you can tell Harry Potter  
How you made it back  
No matter what they say  
We're still the same  
Somehow everybody  
Knows my name  
And all the witches wanna  
Get with the wizards  
And they really like it  
  
All the fans say,  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Hey Sevvie, Sevvie  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
All the witches get  
Your wands in the back  
  
(Sammi)  
Check it out  
It's Sammi Dre  
With Her-mi-o-ne!  
  
Pull that curse off  
Makes Ronnie going crazy  
Afterwards himself  
And one of them  
Eater ladies  
(That's right)  
There is no need  
To be acting heavy  
Come on Sevvie  
Hey hey Sevvie  
Pull off that curse  
Makes Harry going crazy  
Afterwards himself  
And one of them  
Eater ladies  
(Yah man)  
There is no need  
To be acting heavy  
Come on Sevvie  
Hey hey Sevvie  
  
(Hermione)  
We're just sipping on Butterbeer  
Watching boys and girls  
And their sex appeal  
With a Eater in my face  
Who says he knows our moms  
And went to old Hogwarts  
  
All the fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Hey Sevvie, Sevvie  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
We can be his one  
And only Potions lady  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
(Sevvie, Sevvie)  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
When he makes Potions  
You know that  
It amazes me  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, hey  
(Sevvie, Sevvie)  
Fans say, fans say  
Hey Sevvie, hey Sevvie, HEY! 


	3. He Drives Me Crazy

Disclaimer: Dun dun dun! (Drum roll, please) Britney Spears! RUN! *Runs out  
of the room, without bothering saying the disclaimer*  
  
A/N: *shudder* Britney Spears! Anyways, thanks to the people who reviewed  
my story! That was really nice! And once again, thank you Chay! Here Draco  
sings how crazy Harry drives him!  
  
You Drive Me Crazy-Britney Spears  
He Drives Me Crazy-Draco Malfoy  
  
Ginny, she's so into you  
You've got that magic, what can I do  
Potter, you jinx me around, oh  
My wand is moving, you won't feel the ground  
My mouth is moving, it's easy to see  
Hating you means so much more  
More curses then I've ever said before  
  
He drives me crazy  
I just won't sleep  
Until I've hit you and made you squeak  
Crazy, it don't feel alright  
Potter, thinking of you makes me gag all night  
  
Tell me, you hate me  
That I make you wanna pee (Ew)  
Tell Granger that she don't need you, oh  
That she's wasting  
Her homework on you  
Hating you means so much more  
More curses then I've ever said before  
  
He drives me crazy  
I just won't sleep  
Until I've hit you and made you squeak  
Crazy, it don't feel alright  
Potter, thinking of you makes me gag all night 


	4. Get The Potions Started

Disclaimer: J.K. owns Harry Potter and all that. Pink owns the song.  
  
A/N: I was emailed a few song suggestions from my friends, and I saw that  
one of them chose Pink's "Get the Party Started". So let's torture  
everybody's favorite Potions Master!  
  
Get the Party Started-Pink  
Get the Potions Started-Snape  
  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
  
Get your potions started on a Saturday night  
Everybody's waiting for me to arrive  
Sending out the ingredients to all of their friends  
Granger's explaining what's a Mercedes Benz  
I've got lots of style in my black hot robes  
I don't understand this why'd you give me a comb?  
  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
  
Putting dragon scales breaking down to the beat  
Cruising through old Hogwarts we'll be checking the scene  
Lucius is cursing as I'm making them fast  
I'll be mixing potions he'll be kissing my ass (Ha ha)  
Pull up to the dungeon, you want a car  
Potter says he's a #1 Superstar  
  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
  
Making my connection as I enter the room  
Everybody's silent as I set up the rules  
Mixing all their stuff to this brand new beat  
Everybody's crying and they're crying for me  
I'm your Potions Master, don't come anytime  
Unless you're Granger, then oh, that's fine  
  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started  
I'm coming up so you better get your potions started 


	5. First Date

Disclaimer: JKR and Blink-182! Yeah, they rock!!  
  
A/N: How about Harry sings to Ginny about their very first date? *nod, nod*  
Ok! Cue the music! Lights, camera, ACTION!!!!  
  
First Date-Blink-182  
First Date-Harry Potter  
  
On the broom, I just can't wait  
To pick you up  
On our very first date  
Is it cool if I touch your hand?  
Is it wrong if I think  
Your bro can't dance?  
Do you like my messy hair?  
Would you guess  
My robes were too small to wear  
I'm not scared of what they think  
I'll make them nervous  
So they really can't eat  
  
Let's go, don't wait  
This game's almost over  
Honest, let's make  
Draco scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
  
When you curse, I melt inside  
Malfoy's not worthy  
For a minute of your time  
I really wish it was  
Only me and you  
I'm jinxing  
Everybody in the room  
Please don't look at me  
With those eyes  
Please don't hint that  
Snape just told you lies  
I dread the thought  
Of anytime we kiss  
A target that  
I'm probably gonna jinx  
  
Let's go, don't wait  
This game's almost over  
Honest, let's make  
Draco scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
  
Let's go, don't wait  
This game's almost over  
Honest, let's make  
Draco scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream together  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream forever  
Forever and ever  
Let's make him scream together 


	6. Because I Got High

Disclaimer: I don't own "Because I Got High". It's Afroman's.   
  
A/N: I didn't update for awhile, because of stupid school! I'm really sorry!  
  
**Because I Got High-Afroman  
Because I Got High-Too many people**  
  
(Ron)  
_I was gonna pout and scream  
Until I got high  
I was gonna find the Ministry team  
But then I got high  
My hair's all over the place and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high_  
  
(Fudge)  
_I was gonna hit on girls  
Before I got high  
I could've got McGonagall  
But I got high  
She ditched me for Albus and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high_  
  
(Snape)  
_I was gonna go to work  
But then I got high  
Give kids a hard potion  
But we got high  
Now I'm hugging Potter and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high_  
  
(Lockhart)  
_I was gonna go take a shower  
Before I got high  
I was gonna try to get more power  
But then I got high  
Albus beat my whole squad and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high  
_  
(Dumbledore)  
_Na na na na na na na..._  
  
(Harry)  
_I was gonna run from Voldy  
But I was high  
I was gonna stop and pull out the wand  
But I was high  
Now I am a Death Eater (not) and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high_   
  
(Dumbledore)   
_I was gonna pay the Prophet  
Until I got high  
I was gonna scream, "Get off it!"  
But then I got high  
Now Harry's crying real hard and I know why  
Because he got high, because he got high, because he got high_  
  
(Hermione)  
_I was doing great  
But then I got high  
I was gonna marry Snape  
I was high  
I left him at the alter and he knows why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high_  
  
(Draco)  
_Dad messed up my entire life  
He got me real high  
I lost my mom and sight  
Because I got high  
Now I'm sleeping at the Alley and I know why  
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high  
_  
(Ginny)  
_They're gonna stop singing now  
Because they are high  
They're saying all these spells wrong  
Because they're high  
And if they shoot themselves they know why  
Because they got high, because they got high, because they got high___


	7. Can't Hold Us Down

Disclaimer: Do you actually think I own this song? Can I have some of what you're smoking?   
  


A/N: *wipes eyes* I loved that movie, Léon the Professional! I think that is such a great movie and it deserves-oh, sorry. I'm talking too much. I also hope no Snape fans take this song offensively, my friends helped  
me write it.  
  
**Can't Hold Us Down- Christina Aguilera (?) and Lil' Kim  
Can't Hold Us Down- Hermione and Sammi (My team!)**  
  
(Hermione)  
_So what am I supposed to say perfect spells  
Should I be ashamed because Snape made me yell  
Call me a bitch cuz I say the answer in your mind  
Guess it's easier for you to teach if I never tried  
  
When us witches fire back  
Suddenly wizards don't know how to act  
So he does what Snape will always do  
Make up bad excuses and call us a name or two  
  
That for sure ain't the teacher for me  
Making illegal potions to keep his sanity  
It's sad how he don't know how to care  
But now I'm gonna stand up and smile when I say  
  
This is for the witches all around Hogwarts  
Who come across Snape or any man real worse  
Thinking all our spells should be seen, not heard  
So how do we say spells?  
Much louder!  
Letting that man we're gonna pass his class  
Lift your wands high and say a jinx when they pass  
Then laugh a good one until you hear them gasp  
And say that he'll never hold you down  
  
No wizard can hold us down  
No wizard can hold us down  
No wizard can hold us down  
No spells, he can't  
  
So what how am I supposed to say this jinx  
Are you offended because I called you a dirty fink  
Curse me however cuz your spells don't do a thing  
Guess you ain't even a wizard enough to handle what I sing  
  
If you look at Hogwarts: A History  
It's a common curse of our society  
The boy wizard gets glory if he gets a perfect score  
But when I do the same Snape laughs and ignores  
  
I don't understand why it's fine  
The guy can get away even when he skips three lines  
All my witches come over and make a new spell  
Start a new Ministry for us everybody sing  
  
This is for the witches all around Hogwarts  
Who come across Snape or any man real worse  
Thinking all our spells should be seen, not heard  
So how do we say spells?  
Much louder!  
Letting that man we're gonna pass his class  
Lift your wands high and say a jinx when they pass  
Then laugh a good one until you hear them gasp  
And say that he'll never hold you down_  
  
(Sammi)  
_Check it-here is a thing I don't understand  
If a wizard does an ok spell then he's the man  
Snape can ignore us, give us false scores  
But we'll come back, our grades ain't poor  
But the broom's about to flip  
I'll bet my robe on it  
Ginny took my idea and put her name on it  
It's alright though, you won't hold my spell down  
I got to keep on jinxin  
To all my witches who failed Snape's class  
Throw a spell at him and let that be that  
You need to let him know that his hair is WHACK  
And Sammi and Hermy Granger got your prank back_  
  
(Hermione)  
_But you're just a Potions Master  
Think it's hot to call your student a bastard  
You think you're big  
So you're just like a little boy  
All you do is annoy  
You must mark false bad grades  
To make up for your own  
  
This is for my witches...  
This is for the witches all around Hogwarts  
Who come across Snape or any man real worse  
Thinking all our spells should be seen, not heard  
So how do we say spells?  
Much louder!  
Letting that man we're gonna pass his class  
Lift your wands high and say a jinx when they pass  
Then laugh a good one until you hear them gasp  
And say that he'll never hold you down  
  
This is for the witches all around Hogwarts  
Who come across Snape or any man real worse  
Thinking all our spells should be seen, not heard  
So how do we say spells?  
Much louder!  
Letting that man we're gonna pass his class  
Lift your wands high and say a jinx when they pass  
Then laugh a good one until you hear them gasp  
And say that he'll never hold you down  
Spread the spell, can't hold us down___


	8. Cry Granger A River With KAZUYA!

Disclaimer: Cry me a river, I don't own this song.  
  
A/N: HAHAHAHA! Chay, you genius! A thanks for saying this is the greatest Harry dissing song! WOOOHOOO!  
  
Kazuya (-_-'): She hired me for this stupid job, and I can't even rap that well! What's her PROBLEM?! And why are all these butterflies gathering around me?  
**  
Cry Me A River- Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland  
Cry Granger A River- Snape with KAZUYA!   
**  
(Snape)  
_You were failing my class  
You were cheating to pass  
But you didn't know I knew all those tricks, no  
So you took a chance  
And blew up my pants  
But I bet you didn't think I would break your wand, no  
  
You don't have to curse, you know you did  
I already know, I found out kid  
Now there's no chance, for you in my class, never be  
And don't it make you break your wand  
  
You told me you'd study  
Then why did you fail this, you alone  
Now I'm smacking your face  
Because you cheated down to the bone  
I ain't a preacher, you must have me confused  
With some other teacher  
Hogwarts was burned, and it's no longer Ron's turn  
To cry  
Cry Granger a river  
Cry Granger a river-er  
Cry Granger a river  
Cry her a river-er, yeaaah yeah  
  
I know that they say  
That some Potion grades are better left unsaid  
It wasn't like you didn't only cheat in my class  
And you know it  
(Don't act like you don't know it)  
All of these things Granger told me  
Made me fall out of my bed  
(Fall out of my bed)  
You should've studied harder  
Then you may not have FAILED  
(Yeah...)  
  
You don't have to curse, you know you did  
(Don't have to say the curse you did)  
I already know, I found out kid  
(I already know, uh)  
Now there's no chance, for you in my class, never be  
(No chance, you'll always fail)  
And don't it make you break your wand  
  
You told me you'd study  
Then why did you fail this, you alone  
(All alone)  
Now I'm smacking your face  
Because you cheated down to the bone  
(Down to the bone)  
I ain't a preacher, you must have me confused  
With some other teacher  
(I'm not like Albus, Potter)  
Hogwarts was burned, and it's no longer Ron's turn  
(Your turn)  
To cry  
Cry Granger a river  
(Go on, just curse)  
Cry Granger a river-er  
(Go on, just curse)  
Cry Granger a river  
(Potter go on and just)  
Cry her a river-er, yeaaah yeah_  
  
(Kazuya…boo!)  
_Oh__  
(Oh!)  
The curse has been done  
So I guess you'll be leaving  
Oh  
(Oh!)  
The curse has been done  
So I guess you'll be leaving  
Oh  
(Oh!)  
The curse has been done  
So I guess you'll be leaving  
Oh  
(Oh!)  
The cure has been done  
Me and Granger are leaving  
  
(Snape)  
_You don't have to curse, you know you did  
(Don't have to say the curse you did)  
I already know, I found out kid  
(I already know, uh)  
Now there's no chance, for you in my class, never be  
(No chance, you'll always fail)  
And don't it make you break your wand  
  
Cry Granger a river  
(Go on and just)  
Cry Granger a river-er  
(Potter go on and just)  
Cry Granger a river  
(Potter go on and just)  
Cry her a river-er, yeaaaah yeah  
  
Cry Granger a river  
(Go on and just)  
Cry Granger a river-er  
(Potter go on and just)  
Cry Granger a river  
(Cause Ron's already cried)  
Cry her a river-er, yeaaaah yeah  
(He ain't gonna cry no more, yeaaah yeah)  
  
Cry Granger a river  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
Cry her a river, oh  
  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
(Cry me too, cry)  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
(Cry me, cry me)  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
(Cry her, cry her)  
Cry us a river, oh  
(Cry me, cry me)  
  
Cry Granger a river, oh  
(Cry her, cry her)  
Cry her a river, oh  
(Cry me, cry me)  
Cry her a river, oh  
(Cry me, cry me)_  
  
Kazuya: That was so damn stupid! WHY ME?! GET THESE BUTTERFLIES AWAY FROM ME, GAAAAAAAAAAH!   
  
Authoress: Read, so can ya please rate?___


	9. So Yesterday

Disclaimer: Thankfully, I don't own the song.

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a million years. I have a lot of important things going on, like trying to find the file for my Bloody Roar next chapter!

**So Yesterday-Hilary Duff**

**So Yesterday-Ginny Weasley**

_You can ditch your class-if you wanna_

_You can try to change Snape's clothes-if you wanna_

_If he changes your mind_

_Well, that's why you go_

_But you better give him jeans_

_And I'll buy a hat-cause I wanna_

_They'll look good on him_

_And I never wanna get them back_

_At least not in play, not in play, not in play_

_Cuz…_

_If class's over, let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem_

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Hedwig's a bird that's already flown away_

_  
  
_

_Cast a spell and let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem _

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Haven't you heard Snape's gonna look ok_

_You can say Lupin's bored-if you wanna_

_Snape can look real tough-cause he wanna_

_My robe is torn_

_I guess I ate too much_

_Thank you…you made up my mind for me_

_And Harry will ignore me_

_I really wanna see him cheer_

_But he doesn't practice here_

_At least not in play, not in play, not in play_

_Cuz…_

_If class's over, let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem_

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Hedwig's a bird that's already flown away_

_  
  
_

_Cast a spell and let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem _

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Haven't you heard Snape's gonna look ok_

_If your class is over, let's all cheer_

_The test has been done, grab us some beer_

_When Harry called the line just went dead_

_I accidentally smashed his head_

_We're moving on, now that we're done_

_And I won't wake up until I see the sun_

_At least not in play, not in play, not in play_

_If class's over, let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem_

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Hedwig's a bird that's already flown away_

_  
  
_

_Cast a spell and let it go and_

_Come next game it will seem _

_So yesterday, so yesterday_

_Haven't you heard Snape's gonna look ok_


	10. Hogworts In

Disclaimer: Jackpot Man owns Holidae In. You should know that…

A/N: Here I am coming back to the Harry Potter world. I haven't written in it forever. I make up with a _very long parody._

**Holidae In-Chingy ****ft.**** **Ludacris****** and Snoop Dogg**

**Hogworts In-Sirius ****ft.**** **Remus****** and Snape**

****

(Intro: Snape)

Bomb ass curse

Ma ooh you got that wand

You know you got it

Ma, ooh you got some bomb ass curses

Ma I know you got that bomb, bomb ass curses

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Sirius)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

Harry call me up

Said it's a wiii-zard party

Just bring the butter-beer

Remus is now named Marty

I'm on the way (Way)

Let me stop by Dumbledore's

Change me to the loner

And get an ounce of those, ya know?

Now I'm in the Q. field, already in the mood

I've already flown

Grab yo broom and go flow some mo'

Get up; take off, your wand still spinning

Draco gets in the game but Harry's winning

To Astronomy tower, on the way up

There's a witch on the staircase like "You suck"

I jinxed her so she followed me

She knew I was the "killer" see?

Then she said "Aren't you that man on Wizard TV?" 

Yeah that's me, Sirius, AKA Animagi King

Bash through the door and throw a lot of things

Snape gets hit, with a curse to his face

"Damn then!" feel like my wand is toxic waste

There's a pretty witch in here

I heard her jinxing them

Saying "Give me free butter-beer, we're listening"

I ain't come to fly, not without my mitt (Mitt)

I'm here 'cause to for Snape's hit

Aw…shit!

(Snape)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Sirius)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

Ron showed up like "It's a holdup!"

He knows how to sit but not how to roll up

He ran to the bathroom for some zit popping

You knew what's on his mind

Hermy there and Voldy dropping

Harry knocking on the dorm drunk, how silly

Hermy said, "Can I borrow yo' wand?"

Ron's like, "YEAH! REALLY?!"

Now she's on the tower teasing 

Ron is just freezing

She gave him a reason to be a damn weakling

She handled that, earned a B, brought a camera

So I thought about it

No wands when we kick her

Walked out the tower smiling

I'm still dying

Sharing the dorm with wizards who came from the islands

(Snape)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Sirius)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Remus)

Stop, drop, KABOOM!

Baby rub on your wand

Some call me the professor

Some call me Mr. Song

I'm not little; I'll make your bowl of Jell-O wiggle

Got Sirius under control

Voldy's dying in the middle

Got the giggles? 

I'll help it with a tickle

Just hit Snape with a curse and make his mouth dribble

Fire whiskey, add in a pickle

My wand's like a bat 

But don't hurt like a curse

I ain't jinxed this good

Since Snape sat on a thistle

The water ripples

What the hell is a nickel?

For shizzle dizzle!

Track with the Animagi triple

Let the butter trickle, down with the curse

Comes with a evil tempo

Harry plays the instrument, then curses plain and simple

Getting a comb in rental

Snape done and did it again

He smells so stinky as the author's chinky 

At the Hogworts In

(Snape)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Sirius)

What chu doing?

Nothing chillin' at the back of Hogworts In

Who you with?

Me and my elf won't you bring four of yo' friends

What we gon' do?

Wands on each other

And sip on some potions

One thing leading to another let's get this witch into motion

(Snape)

Yeah, let the party begin, witch

Ding-a-ling-ling, all the way to da Shriek Shack

My rival Sirius, sipping Fire Whiskey

Lupin, Lupin, jinx your toes

Yeah, witch, bring four of yo' friends

Meet me at the Hogworts In

Bring that box of butter-beer

Oh wee, and a book of curses

And go read the damn thing

Now what I'm cursing about

We're gon' drink some more Fire now

Yeah we'll just spell and chill

We chilling and cursing

Know what I'm cursing about

Push that button

You know what's teaching, for SHIZZLE, uh huh…

Yeah witch, trying to run from Potions

You can't run from class witch, I done told you

^

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	11. Hermy's Mom

Disclaimer: Fountains Of Wayne owns the song "Stacy's Mom". It's a funny video, silly song. Oh well.

A/N: _Two_ in _one_ day! Aren't you _lucky?! (Everyone's answer: No.)_

**Stacy's Mom-Fountains of ****Wayne******

**Hermy's Mom-Harry Potter**

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy I'm coming this su-uh-uh-uh-mer (summer)

If I can't then it'll be a bu-uh-uh-mer (Buuuummer)

Did your mom come back from the Hogwarts trip? (Hogwarts trip)

Is she there,

Or did Snape give her the sli-i-i-ip (Give her the slip)

You know, I'm not the little wizard I used to be

I'm all grown up now my wand can even see

Hermy's mom has got it going on

She's all I want and I've prayed for so long

Hermy, can't you see

You're just not the witch for me

I know I'm thinking wrong but

I'm in love with Hermy's mom

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy's mom has got it going on

Hermy, do you remember when I jinxed your lawn? (Jinxed your lawn)

Your mom came out 

With leather robes o-o-o-o-on (Leather on)

I could tell she loved me from the way she screamed (Way she screamed)

"There there, you just shot the b-b-b-beam!" (Shot the beam)

And I know you think it's just a fantasy

But since your dad got cursed your mom could use a guy like me

Hermy's mom has got it going on

She's all I want and I've prayed for so long

Hermy, can't you see

You're just not the witch for me

I know I'm thinking wrong but

I'm in love with Hermy's mom

Hermy's mom has got it going on

She's all I want and I've prayed for so long

Hermy, can't you see

You're just not the witch for me

I know I'm thinking wrong but

I'm in love with Hermy's mom

Hermy's mom (Aaah aaah!)

Hermy's mom (Aaaah aaah!)

Hermy can't you see

You're just not the witch for me

I know I'm thinking wrong but

I'm in love with Hermy's mom…


	12. Manly Girl

Disclaimer: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack everyone! Did you miss me? HA! I got grounded and couldn't come on. Anyways, Barbie Girl belongs to Aqua.

A/N: DUN! DUN! DUN! DUN! DUN! One word…ahem drum roll…REVIEWS!

**Barbie Girl-Aqua**

**Manly Girl-Lockhart ft. Snape**

(Snape)

Hi Locky!

(Lockhart)

Hi Snape!

(Snape)

Wanna go for a broom ride?

(Lockhart)

Bloody hell yeah!

(Snape)

Hop on… ¬_¬

(Lockhart)

I'm a manly girl

In a wizard world

Your wand is plastic

The spell's fantastic

You can zap my hair

Stun me everywhere

A wizard nation

That scar is your creation

(Snape)

C'mon Locky let's go flllly!

(Lockhart)

I'm a manly girl

In a wizard world

Your wand is plastic

The spell's fantastic

You can zap my hair

Stun me everywhere

A wizard nation

That scar is your creation

I'm a blond manly girl

In a magical world

Dress me up

I'll take flight

My broom's Polly

(Snape)

You're so fly

Jinxing me

You look so nice in pink

Stun you there

I'll smirk here

Hanky-panky

(Lockhart)

You can stun

Call me gay

If you say

"My wand is yours!"

Oooooh oh!

I'm a manly girl

In a wizard world

Your wand is plastic

The spell's fantastic

You can zap my hair

Stun me everywhere

A wizard nation

That scar is your creation

C'mon Locky let's flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

Make me duel

Like a fool

Do whatever you need

Don't I look like a star?

The Whomping Willow's seed

(Snape)

Come hop in

Manly friend

Let us go fly again

Hit the field

Cast a shield

Let's go flying

(Lockhart)

You can stun

Call me gay

If you say

"My wand is yours!"

Oooooh oh!

I'm a manly girl

In a wizard world

Your wand is plastic

The spell's fantastic

You can zap my hair

Stun me everywhere

A wizard nation

That scar is your creation

C'mon Locky let's flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

I'm a manly girl

In a wizard world

Your wand is plastic

The spell's fantastic

You can zap my hair

Stun me everywhere

A wizard nation

That scar is your creation

C'mon Locky let's flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Ah, ah, ah, yeaaaaaah!

C'mon Locky, let's go flying!

Oooooh oh, oooooh oh!

Oh, Sevvie, I'm having so much fun!

(Snape)

Eh…well, we're just getting started

And I don't love you!


	13. Numb

Disclaimer: This is Linkin Park's. 

A/N: THIS IS A SERIOUS ONE! There were millions of songs I considered using before this, but Tupac songs are too long…and great to change. But this one is actually sad, Cho talks about missing Cedric, how it affects her everyday things, and if Harry can replace him. Review! 

**Numb-Linkin Park**

**Numb-Cho Chang and Cedric**

(Cho)

_I'm tired of being on the Quidditch field_

_Feeling so useless, the Snitch falls to the surface_

_Don't know what they're expecting of me_

_Hard being popular and also missing you…_

(Cedric)

_Without you my heart is torn_

_Without you my heart is torn_

(Cho)

_Every spell that I make_

_Is just another mistake to them_

(Cedric)

_Without you my heart is torn_

_Without you my heart is torn_

(Cho)

_I've become so numb_

_Can't control my spell_

_I just dropped my wand_

_But now I am aware_

_Harry's becoming this_

_Now all that I can do_

_Is be more with him  
And be less with you_

_Can't Harry see that he's smothering me?_

_Holding my wand too tightly, afraid I'll lose control_

_Cause everything that I thought we would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of me_

(Cedric)

_Without you my heart is torn_

_Without you my heart is torn_

(Cho)

_Every spell that I make_

_Is another mistake to them_

(Cedric)

_Without you my heart is torn_

_Without you my heart is torn_

(Cho)

_And every second you're gone_

_The pain is just too strong_

_I've become so numb_

_Can't control my spell_

_I just dropped my wand_

_But now I am aware_

_Harry's becoming this_

_Now all that I can do_

_Is be more with him  
And be less with you_

_And I know_

_Harry might end up dying too_

_But I know_

_He is just like you_

_I don't want to lose him too…_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't control my spell_

_I just dropped my wand_

_But now I am aware_

_Harry's becoming this_

_Now all that I can do_

_Is be more with him  
And be less with you_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't control my spell_

_I'm tired being what they want me to be_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't control my spell_

_I'm tired of being what they want me to be…__  
  
_

Another Author's Note:

Ok, so what did you think of it? I originally had two serious stories, but then I took them both off because they…well to me they SUCKED ASS! But there were some ppl who thought they were actually pretty good. But it's like…well I can't do a fic without music having to do _something_ with it. But anyways should I continue doing serious things and back away from the humor area, or should I stick to humor and ignore serious stuff? Or do both?! IT'S TOO CONFUSING! I can't decide what the hell I'm supposed to do…

Help me! Help! 

Huh?

GOD DAMMIT, ARE YOU DEAF? HELP ME! Ok you really don't have to answer this. I'm just bored as hell and need something to do. Thank God for Martin Luther King Jr.! Ok I'm done.


	14. Die Another Day

Who is She 2 U? (Brandy) Does anyone even read at this site still? I bet, but it just seems like no one does…damn. How come Voldemort just won't DIE?! He's annoying, but then again…of course we have to wait till the seventh book. Boo HOO. I want that broad to die now-I mean, I want him to die now! Please don't ask about the lines. I'll fix them when I fix my Microsoft Word.

**

* * *

**

**Die Another Day-Madonna**

**Die Another Day-Harry Potter**

* * *

I'm gonna beat you, Vol-De-Mort 

I'm gonna blast some part of

I'm gonna keep the secret

Can you get off my body now?

* * *

You just, die another day 

Know just, die another day

Who just, die another day

Just, die another day

* * *

I guess we'll fight another day

I guess we'll fight another day

I'll make you cry another day

I guess you'll die another day

* * *

Fight this…

Fight this…

Fight this…this…this…this…this…

* * *

Let's just break the cycle

Blinding you all with Lumos

I'm gonna destroy your ego

Can you get off my body now?

* * *

Can you write another way?

Blood's dripping to his toe

He can't die another day!

Make it his time to go

For every book, they had to pay

They stopped their work, they stopped their play

Can you find another way?

Make it his time to go

* * *

I avoided the wand shot

I'm gonna suspend the action

I'm gonna delay the killing

I'll push you off my body now

* * *

You just, die another day

Know just, die another day

Who just, die another day

Just, die another day

* * *

Can you write another way?

Blood's dripping to his toe

He can't die another day!

Make it his time to go

* * *

Uh…

* * *

I guess we'll fight another day

I guess we'll fight another day

I'll make you cry another day

I guess you'll die another day


End file.
